Saturday, July 4, 2009

A religious day


Today was unexpected in many ways. I got on the flight from Sydney to Melbourne and sat down next to a lovely old-ish lady. She told me that she was God. This made the conversation flow well for the entire flight! I learnt about her third eye, my electricity and lots about energy (which most people can't see and happens to be blue). I told God about pulsars and black holes. She was really friendly and told me my future by looking at my hands. I can't remember all the predictions, but 1) I was going to spend a lot of time in hospital, but I'm not going to die, 2) a lot of money will pass through my hands (but I won't get rich) and (as a post-prediction) I have been living a complicated life. She also told me that I was head-strong and liked things to go my way. She was very excited that I was called "George" because her father and brothers were all called the same!

I then realised that I'd flown to the wrong airport in Melbourne and so had to take a very long and expensive taxi ride to Geelong where the conference took place. My taxi driver also got very excited that I was called "George". His son is a George. He then told me all about the Catholics. He was very religious and we discussed science and religion for the entire journey. He did tell me some funny religious jokes.

The taxi dropped me at the conference centre and my talk seemed to go well. I got some interesting questions. Then I took the train back to Melbourne. The girls in the seats opposite me spent most of the journey discussing whether they'd change religion because of their boyfriend (the answer seemed to be yes, but it did depend on how sexy the boyfriend was).

Then I walked to my hostel. It's an old convent! I don't think that my room has changed since the nuns were here. It has a bible, two hard beds and ... err ... nothing else. I forgot to bring a book so I started reading the bible. I opened it at Deuteronomy 25-11: "If two men fight together, and the wife of one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of the one attacking him, and puts our her hand and seizes him by the genitals. Then you shall cut off her hand; your eye shall not pity her ..."

Lovely! Good night.

5 comments:

Mel said...

"If two men fight together, and the wife of one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of the one attacking him, and puts our her hand and seizes him by the genitals. Then you shall cut off her hand; your eye shall not pity her ... for lo, even by the standards of WWF, that is a foul move."

Anonymous said...

The World Wildlife Fund certainly doesn't condone that sort of behaviour. But I haven't seen its written policy on other nasty acts as listed in the CoE service of commination:

Cursed is he that removeth his neighbour's landmark.

Cursed is he that smiteth his neighbour secretly.

Cursed is he that lieth with his neighbour's wife.

So watch out. Don't tell untruths to the woman next door.

Christopher Hobbs said...

Interesting to hear that you're not going to die. That will give you time to learn the past imperfect form of "to learn".

I saw a predication the other day that said, with the current advances (?) in medical science, the first person to live to be 1000 years old is already alive. And probably older than 60.

Anonymous said...

Did God watch the safety briefing before take-off?

Emma said...

Another family member has beaten me to my response. I am also extremely glad that God has told you you are not going to die. It's an interesting level of responsibility. I guess an infinite amount of money will pass through your hands during eternity (that's if money doesn't stop before you do).